Wants to help her ex figure out whether she is a lesbian or notVisitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I am a 30 year old lesbian. I have been dating and committed to a woman the same age for the past 3 years. I was her first girlfriend but not first same-sex experience. She had even been married before. In the beginning it was great. We were perfect. Up until 3 days ago, I thought we were still perfect. I found out the she had cheated on me with 3 different guys (that I know of and she admitted to) during the past 2 years. During those past 2 years she made me feel loved, we were just a sexually active as ever. She made me feel like she was happy. There was once that we watched a movie that had a confused "straight" girl who was involved in a lesbian relationship and was confused. The movie was "Kissing Jessica Stein" . After the movie she told me that she was feeling similar things. Unfortunately, I swept it under the rug thinking, "well if your with me, you must be gay". After that she didn't feel like she could talk to ne about it and never did until I found out about the first affair.
We broke up last night. She said that she needed to be alone to figure things out. I am willing to forget about her lies and cheating. She says that if she is really a lesbian then it is definitely me that she wants. I honestly think she is a lesbian. Her feelings are too stong and emotions were so raw during "the talk" I can't imagine that she isn't. I guess what I want to know is how can I help her figure this out? I want her to be happy. I also want her to come back to me. How can I help her. My heartache will pass if I can't get her back. I just want to help her figure herself out. She is a remarkable woman who I love deeply.
Thank you for your help.
It seems to me that she is neither straight or homosexual, but bi-sexual. If you can live with that, then go in that direction and let her be what she is. (I'm only guessing here, of course). One problem with this arrangement is the worry about STDs. It is a very confusing situation to deal with.
-- from George
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