Getting her Back

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
I was going out with this really great girl for about 3 weeks, and we both felt we could make it last, but then we all of a sudden broke up...we're still friends, but we dont talk that often, only like online, and little in school... Plus she says she still likes me, which is good i suppose cause i still really like her, and i quite possibly am in love with her... I REALLY want her back! What can i do to get her back and have her see me the way she did before? Advice
It all has to do with why you broke up. What caused it? If you two WERE dating and then something was seriously wrong so that you couldn't even talk it through and work it out, that's a pretty big hurdle. You would have to seriously look at that issue, and then try to address it.

If it's that you just didn't even talk about the problem and try to handle it, that's not a good sign. A relationship is about two people working together to have things work out well. If you guys just gave up as soon as you hit some sort of tiny problem, there's not much guarantee that if you got back together again, the exact same thing wouldn't happy the next time you hit some tiny problem. And since relationships *always* have problems both big and little, the only way you can be in one that lasts is to actively and continuously talk and work on the relationship.

I'd sit down and talk with her and figure out why you broke up before, what the solution to that problem is, and how you can actually be better talkers going forward so it doesn't just repeat itself when you hit another snag.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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