Get the issues on the table

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My bf of 10mths broke up with me for someone else 6mths ago.
They go to the same church. I've always been waiting for him becos i know he is the one i want to spend my lifetime with...
Many things happened during the past 6mths...The standard breaking up cycle---
1. He ignored me while i kept pleading him to come back to me. He was too in love with the new gf.
2. I tried to keep my cool and tried being friends wt him. He was still in love wt the new gf.
3. I lessened my initiating of contact wt him, and he began to contact me again. He and the new gf's relationship started to have problems and many conflicts, he often confided to me.

I'm always there for him even until now. I'm still in love with him and always wishing for him to patch back with me.

He broke up with his gf once but patched back very soon after that, even though I was still there for him.

Recently he has been calling me quite often to chat, and we have gone out several times.
Everytime we go out,we have fun. I could see that he enjoys his time with me.
Several times he confided to me that his gf quarrelled wt him and would not give in. He was always the one giving in and he was kinda sick of it. He said that being with me was better and he felt unappreciated by his gf. He even said that if I had gone to church wt him in the past, we'd still be together and he wldn't fall for his gf...
He always hugs n kisses me everytime we meet even though i try to avoid it...

Recently, several times he has been asking me to be his gf again. But because he was still with his gf, I told him to settle his things first before we talk about it. (I certainly do not want to be two-timed.)
2 days ago, he asked me whether i still love him...I told him, "I still like you, but we are friends"
He said that I wasn't answering his question.
I told him that there was no point answering his qns becos he has oredi chosen someone else as his gf.
But he said he hasn't.
He asked me to answer his qns becos it is important for him.
I was afraid to ans him as i was afraid he'd take me for granted.
He sent me home in his car n while we were chatting happily, he suddenly shouted "I love you!" to me...

I really don't know what to do now.
I want him to break up with his gf so that we can patch back and start over again.
But I do not want to pressure him. He seems confused on whether to breakup with his gf and patch back wt me...
I'm somehow getting impatient and i feel terrible.
I'm not sure if he really loves me or is just making use of me...

Yesterday was new yr's eve and he was with his gf celebrating together...and did not contact me for two days.
He and his gf are sometimes loving but often quarrelling...
I don't know why he still doesn't want to breakup with his gf. And I don't know what to do because i really want him back...

Pls advice me what i shd do for him to break up with his gf and patch back with me... Advice
Well, you need to have an old fashioned good, long, honest talk with him and tell him what you told me. He seems to want to make sure you will be there for him if he breaks up with his girlfriend. While this might not make you feel good, it is probably the truth and you will have to accept it if you want him back. My advice is to get your issues out on the table and see what comes of it.

Happy New Year!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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