Why the breakup?
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
My ex fell in love with me at first sight. The second time i saw him he told me he loved me, I immediatly drew back because athough i was attracted to him, he seemed too obsessive. He waited patiently for 3 months for me to say "i love you" back. But instead i kept saying "i like you alot" becausei didnt wanna get too attached. According to friends and his family, he had never reacted to a girl like this before. He had neve been this forward. However, during our enitre relationship, apparently (according to his family) he had this "I can' believe a girl that amazing is into me" kind of attitiude. So he stressed 24/7 over whteher i liked him, and me not being willing to get as close didnt help his insecurities either. Anyways, i finally satered feeling for him and we got intimate. He seemed so happy, then he asked me to a dance and i didnt feel comfortable going to a dance where i knew noone but him, and unfortunatly i was already asked by a friend to my dance so i told him i couldnt go. He shut down, got depressed, thought i didnt want him anymore. during this time i was really busy so i didnt call him. so he convinced himself that he had been right all along and that i couldnt possibly really like him. so he calls me, and says that he dooesnt love me anymore and that he has someone new. apparently this chick came to his aid and told him she loved him while he was stressing over me. i tell him my feelings and he realizes that i do like him (at least it seemed like it). He thinks about it, but is filled with so much spite that he chooses to call me immature and disgusting for asking for him back. He still tried to be friends, but we kept arguing and he cut me off. I have talked ot many people and i know im a lot more attractive then his new gf. He doesnt want anything to do with me tho, called me nothing but a stress. Im confused and hurt, and have been running this thorugh my head over and over. Apparently he thought i was out of his league to begin with as well. Anyways, I am used to being, and cautious about being a trophy girlfriend, especially in highschool.I dont get a lot of dates because guys are too intimidated by me, the only ones willing to go with me are popular guys that end up treating me like well...a trophy. Because of this I like being independent as well and I don't really want a boyfriend. But i am confused as to why this break up happened? did he leave me for this new girl, or is he just hurt, and why does he hate me, and why couldnt e just trust that i liked him? This guy really did have strong feelings for me, and treated me with respect, until i said no to this dance. I am so utterly confused.
Sorry you are in this situation.
Sometimes little thing cause major disasters which is what this sounds like. Perhaps it is what he said that you are too much of a stress for him. He probably was insecure about you all the time and worried a lot. This might have been the straw that broke the camel's back (the dance thing). That's my read on it. You didn't say you wanted him back, so I would call it over and move on.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com