Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
My boyfriend and I have been dating for around 10 months. We live together and have been very open about each other's past. His is so much worse than mine. He was a party boy with all his friends and has "been with" more girls than I have limbs all in a drunken stupor - most of the time. But he has also had a lot of random, I don't know, flings, I guess. One of which involved his long long looong childhood friend Sue (not her real name). They are complete and total best friends till the end. But she has moved away to college at FSU and he and I go to USF. Here's the kicker - they have had sex. Now I know you will probably think, "Okay, what's the problem?" Well there shouldn't be one becuase they were drunk, like always, and regretted it in the morning. But just the fact that it happened and possibly could happen again kills me with worry everytime they see each other. Today they spent five hours at the mall "returning gifts". My a**. He tells me over and over and over again not to worry they are just good friends. That she is like his brother and he doens't think of her like that - at all. But I cannot get over it, I thought I was until he told her he loved her (over the phone) and she said, "Wait what, is she in the car?" (Becuase she knows i'm jealous) and they laughed at it like i'm a f*cking joke now. He always says, "Don't worry Sue she understands about us" like they are a f*cking couple! AAAGHHH! What can I do? Thinking about it makes me want to shoot him - and her!
Sorry it's so long.
Get it really clear to your boyfriend that you are not amused. This will require some good close communication which will boost your relationship. From the sound of him you may need to get him loaded (not too loaded) so he will talk openly. Get him to acknowledge that he is hurting you by joking around. Ask him how he would feel if you did the same. If he is mellow enough and you approach him just the right way (i.e. non-confrontationally) he just might surprise you and turn over a new leaf. Give it a shot.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com