Wants her ex back
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Well, This may be along storie, And it may just as well be another "Sad, Break-up storie" and some may say.. "Get over it" But I can't. So.. I was dating this female online for 2 and a half yrs online. I met her from a Friend who was dating her at the time. My friend wasn't treating her right so she came to talk to me about it. We continued talking for over a month. When she told me she Liked me, Alot. I also liked her but wasn't so sure about a relationship since a yr before that I had just got out of a BAD relationship. So, We started dating.. Everything was going great.. Until I had some problems with my Controlling, Verbal Abuse, etc. Alot of things happened, I wasn't the best girlfriend.. She stayed with me though.. Never left my side.. I controlled the Verbal Abuse.. Cept I couldn't control the Controlling. I also have Paranoia problems from the past relationship. Well, To make a LONG storie short.. This past Sept we broke up.. She told me she never wanted us to be together ever again. Because she couldn't trust me. I hated the thought of that. It hurt so bad. Because I Loved her so damn much. I basically took her for granted. Well, I told her I wanted to go meet her and prove my Love to her. I live in Florida and she lives in Canada. So, in Sept I took the Bus from FL to Canada.. Spent a week there. WAS GREAT. Before I left she said She wanted me to come as a Friend and nothing more. I respected that. well, Things changed the minute we met. We got along great, clicked for one another. She is a virgin and had never been with a Female or Male. so Sexual things did take place. She told me she Loved me, as I told her I loved her. I promised her I would never hurt her again. as I looked into her eyes. The day before I left.. I asked her to Marry me, with a ring and all. She said "Of Course" Well, We got back online things were going fine for the first few days.. The weekend came and she had to go out for the weekend with her family, Because it was Thanksgiving.. (in oct) I didn't speak or hear from her til Sunday night. I missed her so much. She didn't seem to miss me as much as she usually does. She was acting weird.. Wasn't sure if it was me or what. My paranoia started to kick in. She was saying she was in a Chatroom called "Hot And Bothered" which, she owns a Chat Network.. But.. Before we even met in person.. She never did trust me.. I wasn't allowed to speak to Bisexuals or Lesbians or even go into any type of those rooms because she was scared. which I didn't blame her. Well, I got a lil Jealous because she was talking to some Bisexual girl. And I asked if I could go into a Sex room. Not because I actually wanted too. Just wanted to get her mad.. (bad move) but that's how I am. when I feel I'm not getting attention I get scared and say or do things I shouldn't. So, After meeting her.. She told me.. "If you trust yourself, I trust you" and.. For anyone else they'd be happy that their GF/BF trusted them.. well, I didn't take it in that way.. I got the feeling that she wasn't interested in me anymore and didn't care what I did.. so, I basically said.. "I don't trust myself" I said it out of Anger, thinking if I said that.. Maybe things would go back to the way they were. well, Nope. She left me.. I couldn't believe it. She told me that was it, She can't be with me. And she should of NEVER came back so many times. I tried to explain to her the reason why I said it. She wouldn't listen. She said the only reason I am saying that now is because I lost her. Well, It's been 2 Months since we broke up.. I tried having a Friendship with her, and that didn't work because I'm SO Inlove with her.. I can honestly say she is my True Love.. My Soul-mate. There is No one in this entire world I can think of being with then her. When I did contact her.. I usually got nothing back, or her saying.. "Stop please, It's the past". I'm not sure what to do. The 1st week after she broke up with me she told me she was over me, the 2nd she wasn't inlove with me anymore.. I don't believe that though. She always said she loved me more then I ever loved her.. How can she be over me so quickly?. She said she can't be with me anymore because even after US meeting.. I won't ever change. I shouldn't be paranoid.. I was the ONLY one she wanted. :( 2 Months, Some weeks n some days later.. I finally see the WHOLE picture. I understand everything.. and I can't have her back... I don't know what to do. I need her.. To be honest.. This is like my last relationship but vice versa. I treated my ex like a queen.. she treated me like shit and cheated on me. Now, My recent ex treated me like a queen and I treated her like shit. I basically think because I was so scared of bein hurt again.. I'm over that now. Because she is so important to me. She never once was un-faithful. She's my World and everything in it. Please give me some advice :(
Best you can do is to continue to contact her every so often and say nice things and ask her how she is doing. At some point if you think there is a chance she will say yes, ask to visit her again. Some counseling might be good for you too.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com