Promise ring sets off fireworks

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
Hey I need some advice about my now ex-girlfriend. It's kinda long but please bear with me because I need some advice desperately. The story basically is this. I am going on almost 19 years old and my ex-girlfriend is going on 18 here soon. We have known each other for a little over a year, and have been official for 9 months. But in those 9 months, honestly we did have a lot of issues or problems that would be hashed out. Nothing horrible really because I mean I'm only 18 and her 17 and we're always growing and maturing each and every day, and that's also why I think we would have some of the issues is for that reason because we still are young and helping each other still grow. But the problem is, is that these issues would come about from her because she still doesn't totally know herself which is understandable because I mean she is only 17. It would just put some stress on our relationship. But I was willing do deal with it and did because we loved each other so much. And even when we had those negatives in our relationship we would always turn them into positives. Not many people can say that but it came natural for us. But basically what happened, is that one night not too long ago I busted out a diamond promise ring. And told her that this could be our for say "new beginning". A promise to each other, and the thing is, is that she loved it. And even went to put it on her marriage finger on the left hand by herself. And then throughout the next day her Mom was basically giving her grief about the ring and our relationship acting like it was an engagement ring or something. And acting like we were going to go elope or something. (Keep in mind that my ex's Mom feels that she shouldn't settle down this young, and I guess she's basing that theory on her mistake with her ex-husband because she was very young.) Even if I wanted to marry her this soon I wouldn't be able to because I still have college to finish along with her. And when and once I create a family I want to be stable financially and emotionally. So later that night we had church service and at the end of the service her grandmother came up to my ex-girlfriend and says of how she sat back and watched her daughther make a mistake, but that she's not going to let that same mistake happen again. But that really offended me because it's like her family is not being optimistic and/or hopeful for us and that she basically called me a mistake. And made my ex-girlfriend and cry and I was like your not going to leave me and she said "I mean I don't know, I mean they're my family" and I was crushed but then that night at the end she promised she wouldn't leave me. But just then the next day she broke up with me and mentioned something about too much pressure, then this and that and this changing her stories basically of why she was breaking up with me and that it was because she had uncertainity about our relationship but I feel it was because of the negative influence of her family. But basically it has come to the point that she broke up with me but feels that we're not meant to be forever anymore, but she wants to still stay with me as my best friend. Because we are each others best friend, but if so why has she left me, she said that she just feels that our personalities don't click but at the same point she wants to still stay as my best friend and the next night left a voice mail on my phone and said I love you at the end and then called me the next day. So I'm just really confused and would like some advice of whats going on and what I should do?!?!?!?!? PLEASE HELP ME, I WOULD GREATLY APPRECIATE IT!!!!!! Advice
Her family has convinced her that you two have gone too far with your relationship at such an early age. Forget the promise ring, it just makes the family nervous (promise rings were not in style in their day). Keep talking with your ex and I suspect that you will come back togethere again. Call her mother and tell her that you won't get real serious until you both finish college and are emotionally and financially stable. This will impress her with your maturity and put you back in her good graces. Don't argue with her whatever you do. You can explain your feelings but not in a negative manner.
I think it will work out.

Good luck,

Happy Holidays!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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