Moving from Friend to Boyfriend/Girlfriend

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I am very confused.....pls. help me.

I like this very good friend of mine ( I will call him AJ) I have had feelings for him for almost a year now, but was afraid to tell him, cuz as usal, I did not want to lose a good friend. We have a mutual friend who had a talk with him in Feb., as to we would make a great couple. AJ agreed to that saying that he really likes me, but he was afraid too that he would lose the friendship. He also said that he just wanted some time to go ahead. and he was very positive about going ahead with the relationship.

I found about this month ago, and I thought that since he is not making any move, maybe I should go ahead and ask him on a date.
So we went on a date 3 weeks ago..........everything went great. After that he took me to a BBQ at his sister's place and introduced me to his family ( almost half of his family was down there).
But that's about it.............I have not heard anything from him, as to what he thinks about the date we had/he had not yet asked me on a date.
See, since we are good friends, I see him almost 2-3 times per week..........but he just acts friendly.....he flirts a little but that's about it.

I dont know what I should I just wait for him to come around (cuz he did tell our mutual friend that we wants some time) or should I go ahead and invite him for dinner/lunch or just tell him how I feel about him.

Pls. help me.........cuz I am going crazy debating whether he is interested or not.

Thanx a lot Advice
First, you're not alone. This is very, very common! Every great relationship is based on friendship so thousands (if not millions) of people are in the exact same situation that you are, right now.

I imagine you're hesitant because you're the female. If you were the male, you'd have it easy, because you could just ask him out again and it'd be "normal". But because you're female you think it's not normal. Maybe he's afraid to make the next move because he's shy! So think of yourself as the asker in this relationship. Every relationship has a main asker and a main accepter, and it's not always male-female. Many times it's female-male.

So take it on! Be the planner. Plan a fun thing for you both to do and invite him along. Don't think of it as being the "guy role of the asking out". Think of it as being the "girl role of planning fun things" if that makes it easier :)

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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