Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Hi i have a problem and I'm not entirely sure what to do. I met this guy and we hit it off. he was very full on calling three times a day and saying he wanted to be friends and also that he fancied being my lover. I said initially that as I was a virgin and not ready to sleep with him maybe he should look elsewhere. About three months in we did eventually have sex. He was very considerate and did his best not to make me nervous. We slept together a couple more times. Then he announced that I could not call him in the evenings as his girlfriend would not like it and that i ought to avoid weekends as well. I was shocked by the revelation but agreed to stay platonic friends. But now he is too busy with work, or just does not answer the phone or disconnects when I call. He however does call me if I ignore him or hint that I want to end this. He fell ill recently and I posted a get well soon card to him. He never said thanks for it but asked me never to post anything to him again. he said not to buy him anything for xmas as it would spoil him.
He claims he cares for me and I'm his friend and he has never been rude or inconsiderate when we have met up or even talked on the phone. he has always been polite and friendly even until recently. i just don't understand the dichotomy... why is he friendly and then ignores me? Is this some subtle form of using me? or is he just odd in that he will be friendly when actually in my presence and ignore my existence other wise? is it that i need to grow up and accept this is the adult way of doing things or should i question his motivation in having me around? I am 26 and very confused by him.
If he has a girlfriend, you really should step aside and let him go. Nothing good is going to come of this relationship. Yes, I do think he is using you.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com