He is waiting to decide
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I've been with him for over 3 years, and lived together with him for 1 year and 4 months. We had some communication problems and werenít completely satisfied with each other, but we believed we shared true love and deep trust in each other.
This summer when we talked about our marriage, he said he lost the confidence of the marriage due to my age, nationality, financial ability, and so on and just found another girl who has better conditions than mine. I told him I loved him so much and wanted him back so badly.
Then, he told me he needed time to think about whether he'd be happy with me in the future. But, It seems that he needs time to think about whom heíd be happy with, because heís been flirting with her and their feelings for each other have been getting deeper and stronger. I feel betrayed, ignored, and dumped. He even compared me and her in detail and told me why it'd be great if he'd marry her. He also added he trusted me more than her. But, he obviously cares for her very much.
He said sorry to me, but never stops the relationship with her, rather develops it. He also told me our relationship and his relationship with her is totally different matter, and that I should not care his feeling for her. Since I couldnít bear his having relationship with her, I told him Iíd break up with him. Then, he asked me to wait for his decision until the end of this year.
I truly love him so much and want to wait for him forever. But, my pride was so crushed and my heart was so broken, and I am so angry, sad, anxious and restless everyday and every minute that I canít do anything well. Indeed, even if he comes back to me, I am worried that we can rebuild our trustable relationship, that he can entirely finish the relationship with her, and that I can satisfy him who thinks so much of what I donít have. These things make me think of a breakup not a future.
I am so confused. I want to know how to calm down my strong feelings first. Then, I want to know I should wait for his decision although I am hurting so much or I should leave him now. Itís already been over 4 months and itís like itíd be forever. Please help me!!!
You are caught in an unusual and sad predicament.
Since you love him so much, then wait another month and see what his decision is. Then you can decide what YOUR decision will be. If you two decide to stay together, then set a soon wedding date and get it done.
If you marry, there will be a lot of baggage to deal with, so don't expect a bed of roses.
I am sorry you have been put in this position by what seems to me to be a rather arrogant man.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com