Cheat or not

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I dont know what to do. I have been with my husband for 5 years, married for going on 2. i love him alot, however we do have some problems. we have are both young, and we have a small child. i cant really honestly say if we would even be together still if we didnt have the baby. recently, we have been having some arguements and problems, but he genuinely seems to want to work things out with me. he wants us to be together and be happy and have a family.
my feelings right now are sort of odd. i often feel that is more of a friend or companion then lover, and i dont really have a sex drive toward him much anymore.
Now, the main part of my problem is a guy i know at work. we flirt alot at work, as do alot of people at my workplace, just innocent fun to pass the day away. however, i feel i have been developing feelings for him, like i always want to look nice when i see him, doing things that are unlike me like showing him my underwear ect. our conversations have become very sexual, and i think about him during sex with my husband.
This guy is also involved in a long term relationship, not married but in a relationship. however i do find myself considering meeting him or something to have sex with him, which he is interested in doing and we have talked about.
i feel guilty and i dont want to be an unfaithful wife, i just cant understand my feelings. For example am i just trying to understand my own feelings do i not love my husband anymore and could i have something for this guy or am i just trying to replace attention and feelings that i am lacking in my marriage with someone else? because of course it is a big ego boost to have someone want you so bad as this guy does.
a part of me wants to go and be with this guy, as i feel i only live once. on the other hand, i do value my family and relationship i have with my husband despite problems we may face. however, at this point i feel its wrong because i have been thinking of this other guy so often.... and i honestly dont want to give it up, i dont know what to do..... Advice
I am sorry you are in this predicament.

The only honorable way to solve this is to be honest with your husband and see how he responds. Who knows, he may feel the same way as you do. Or if he doesn't, then it is time to see a counselor.

Meanwhile tell the other guy you want to sort things out with your husband first.

Best wishes,

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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