From too much to too littleVisitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
Well, I have been with my boyfriend for about 2 months now, and it does not seem like alot, but we've had a past of just crushing on eachother for 6 months. He's one of my closest friends, as I am to him. Before we went out, he used to treat me like such a princess and flourish me with comments and just spoil me relentlessly with his words and in ways you could just tell. Now, it seems as though he cared for me more back then, then he does as me being with him. I had just come out of a really life changing 1 year relationship, and to me, I can't feel at ease, or be comfortable knowing that someone cares for me or whatever unless they show me in extreme ways, or is crying or hurting and I know for sure that they are sorry. I have a problem with wanting them to be all about me, because I am used to that attention. My 1 year relationship was completely extreme, and his life revolved around me. Now my current relationship, is as normal as any others, and thats what I had wanted. But now I am feeling vulnerable that he is not giving me enough attention or affection. He used to care if i wouldnt sit with him but now he doesnt say anything, which is a small issue, but small things count. I get overly jealous when I just think of him and other girls. I take it out on him and dont tell him why, because I have an immense amount of pride which I cannot sustain or minimize. I dont know what to do, its killing me inside.
You are in a tough situation. The key is communication. Tell your boyfriend exactly what you wrote here. If he loves you, he will try to modify his behavior to make you feel more wanted. You too need to modify your behavior to not expect so much. Loosen up on your pride because that comes between you and your boyfriend. Be strong enough to talk about your feelings with him. It will make a big difference I assure you.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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