Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Hi there,

I have explored the pages of this website and have found some very good information, however, i have an extremely painful situation going on in my life that i need help with.

I have been seeing my current girlfriend for 2 and a half years now and a love her more than life itself, but i have several insecurities that she has caused that i will dive right into.

We had a great relationship and in my opinion still do. We went out and had so much fun together in the beginning of our relationship. The first incident that almost did me in was new years eve two years ago. I had just got of work around 6pm and she called and wanted me to go to a party. Being as tired as i was i agreed because i love being around her. We show up at this party, bring in the new year and we left at about 2am. I drove her back to her mother's apartment whom she lived with at the time. We did the normal end of the evening kiss and i left at about 2:15. I had to be back to their apartment however at 7am the next morning to move her and her mother to the neighboring town. I never thought anything of that night untill a very close friend of mine asked me about 2 months later where she was new years, i replied "with me" and he asked if i was sure. Doubting my buddy, i decided to ask her anyhow and she said she went to bed when i dropped her off.... So end of subject, right? Wrong. Another good friend of mine told me she was with her ex that night. Hearing this from two people now got me really leary. I sat her down and asked her again. She tried bashing my friends and said i had no right listening to them. I got angry and yelled and screamed at her. She started crying and said she did go and see him that night after i dropped her off, but she said nothing happened. Why she went and if i do believe her that nothing happened, i still cannot say to this day.

Here i am two years later, i overlooked it, i love her and want to believe her when she said nothing happened. But my trust is a little low in her. I have lived with her now for atleast a year and a half. We have our ups and downs. Just yesterday my good friend who told me about the earlier situation says he heard that she has now been cheating behind my back for more than 3 months with a guy he used to work with. I didn't know what to do, so i called her and yelled at her while she was working. She told me she cannot believe i would believe that and that she loves me and would never do such a thing. She wanted the names of the people i heard this from, i suppose to settle something. I don't want to believe it because i live with her, i don't see where she would have time to do such a thing or why she would. I show her attention, love, and care.

So there is my dilemma. I absolutely idolize my girlfriend and put her on a pedastal, i buy her whatever she wants because i like her happy and love to see her smile, it is really breaking my heart right now. I'm in the midst of opening a new retail store, when i now have three at the young age of 21. My doctor has just prescribed me anti depresants because he is worried i am over stressed, then i recieve this news. I'm hoping some encouraging words can guide me in the right direction!

Thank you for your time! Advice
I am very sorry you are in this situation.

Few things are worse in a relationship than losing trust in your mate. The incident at the New Year's Eve party seems minor to me and I would take her word that nothing happened. This more recent rumor needs more details before I would start to worry about it. Your girlfriend denied it emphatically and you should start off trusting her. If further details arise, then confront her again. It is probably something very innocent if it is anything at all.

Best wishes,

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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