logo


Romantic Forums! Get the answers you seek quickly and easily! If you can't find what you need
here amongst our tens of thousands of tips and questions, be sure to Post in our Romantic Forum!
We've got over 9,800 members ready to give you a hand!
A Love Quote
Break a vase, and the love that reassembles the fragments is stronger than that love which took its symmetry for granted when it was whole. -- Derek Walcott



The Lying Cousin Drove Us Apart



Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I had been seeing my boyfriend for almost 2 yrs. We have gone through some tough times but made it thus far. About 6 months ago we began arguing alot. He would come home angry and blame me. Then 4 months later, I told him I needed a break and that I wanted to leave for a while. He broke down telling me he was going to kill himself and it really scared me. I dont know if he would really do that or that he thought his emotional distress would bring me back.

I tried to make him understand that I wasnt "leaving" I was just taking time off.. Yet i did nto get to. his constant threat scared me so much that i stayed. Then he moved to his mothers and told me to stay there.

He has a very troublemaking cousin who would call me and pretend to be sooo upset and i would feel sorry for her only to find out later that she was calling him back and making up lies that I supposedly said about his family etc,

I am not with him now, we fought so much over his cousin's games that we broke up. he obviously believed her even on her saying that I faked my miscarriage. I do miss him but if he wont believe a thing I say what is the use. I really do hate his cousin now and i find it hard to hate anyone.

I do miss him though I had thought he was the one for me.
its been almost three months and i am tempted to write him a letter saying how sorry i am that things ened the way they did and how much i do think of him.. ?
do you tihnk that would be ok to do or should i wait longer?




RomanceClass.com Advice
Wow, what a nasty cousin to actively drive you two apart!! That definitely shows that one of the KEYS in any relationship is to trust each other and talk directly to each other. The very second any third person becomes involved, the information gets biased and twisted - sometimes just a little, or sometimes wildly.

It sounds like he was very manipulative himself, too, though. He would blame you for his temper, and then one of the *ultimates* in manipulation, he held the guilt of his potential suicide over your head if you left. That's so wrong I can't even begin to talk about it. A relationship is about two people actively caring for each other and choosing FREELY To be with each other. Things like money, family pressure, and ESPECIALLY emotional trickery should not be involved at all.

The fact that now he chooses to believe his lying cousin over you just sort of seals the situation. I really think you should give yourself at least another month to get over him. If you were together for several years it's very normal to be hurt for several months as you heal over the pain and get used to life on your own vs life with "a partner." I really think if you give yourself time that you'll realize that there are MANY guys out there better for you than he was, and that choosing one of them will be much, much better for you than simply going back to him because it's "easy" since you have history.

Get out with your friends. Give yourself long bubble baths. Go to movies you love. Go ice skating or skiing or whatever you enjoy to do. Spend this time really enjoying life and taking GOOD care of yourself. If after another month or two you can honestly say to yourself that you are HAPPY but that you think being with him would make you HAPPIER, then I'd write him a letter and tell him that. But I really think after another two months of being happy with yourself, that you'll realize that it's a different type of guy that you would have share in your happiness - and I really bet that after 2 months of happiness that you'll have already found him.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com





Add RomanceClass  to Twitter Add RomanceClass  to Facebook Add RomanceClass  to MySpace Add RomanceClass  to Del.icio.us Digg RomanceClass+ Add RomanceClass  to Yahoo My Web Add RomanceClass  to Google Bookmarks Add RomanceClass  to Stumbleupon Add RomanceClass  to Reddit
 


Speak Your Mind - Share your Thoughts on this Question!

All Advice in the category - Breakup Issues

Browse our Answer Database
- Browse Answers by Question Category
- Browse Answers by Age Group
- Browse Answers by Date of Response



Please read through the advice on this site before you Submit your Own Question! We have thousands of pages of valuable advice that can immediately help you with your situation.
Advertisement


Sparkly Irridescent Glitz Gel

Going to a party or special event? What to feel special no matter what you're doing? Roll on some glitz! Perfect for adding a special bit of sparkle to your day or evening.

Buy Glitz Gel at EclecticLady.com




Bookmark this site so you can reference it any time you need romantic / relationship info in the future!

Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Twitter Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Facebook Add Romance+Class+Website+ to MySpace Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Del.icio.us Digg Romance+Class+Website+ Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Yahoo My Web Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Google Bookmarks Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Stumbleupon Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Reddit


 

Follow Me on Pinterest


Romantic Tshirts, Bags, Mugs and More!

Love is Patient
Love is Patient ...
Deeply Loved
Deeply Loved ...
Random Kindness
Random Kindness ...

These are just a small selection - Visit the RomanceClass Shop!

Join This Newsletter!


 
RomanceClass on Facebook




Join This Newsletter!

Past Issues





| About RomanceClass | Advertising | Privacy Policy | Submit a Suggestion |
All content copyright 2013 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.

this site is for amusement only - professional advice is not being rendered

Italian Wedding