A fling or not?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Okay, here goes. I met a man 10 years my senior. He was a student of mine at the time. Though he was married, he is in the midst of a divorce. He is from another country. Initially, we started out as a strictly professional relationship, but after he finished my class, we grew closer, eventually leading to an intimate relationship. We talked, laughed, and exchanged very candid moments in the process. This sounds really cliche, but yes, we connected. After about a month, he had to return to his country. I told myself it was just a fling, something not worth taking seriously, but he keeps in touch, something I had not anticipated. It's been a month since he left, but things have intensified. I have developed feelings, and soon, he is coming to visit me in a few months. I am really confused and am excited and scared at the same time. My gut feeling tells me that this is just an extended affair, but there is this nagging itch in the back of my mind it could be something more. He has a child from his ex wife, and will have a battle for custody rights, so he will have some rough bumps to come. Am I just a sucker at this point? What should I do? Why would he fly half way across the country if he didn't have strong feelings? Please help. Your (whoever you may be) advice would really put my mind at ease.
My advice is to go with the flow. Let him come visit and see what develops. You are both attracted and he is willing to travel a long distance to see you.
If nothing comes of it, at least you will know that you did not miss the love of your life.
Two warnings, however, the first is to determine whether he is still "on the rebound," and the second is to wonder whether he may be using you (as a potential spouse) to gain US citizenship. Gloomy warnings but important.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com