She's Healing from a Breakup
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
Hello,I'm 15 years old, and I have a question to ask. I'm kinda in a sticky situation, and I'd really like some professional advice.
Ok well there's this girl I really like from school......we met this year in high school, and I've really fallen for her bigtime,and we get along great. We've only known each other for about 3 or 4 months, but it already seems like we've known each other our whole lives, I actually can't remember a time when I didn't know here haha.
But with all good stories comes a bad one....I decided to ask her out. We'd already gone to 2 movies, and a school semi formal together, and I felt i had a good chance. So anyways I get a reply that's like well I'm not saying yes or no, I think you're a really cool, funny, and nice guy but I broke up with my boyfriend after a 10 month relationship, and I'd like a little time before I start dating again. Now she has gone out with one guy for about a week after she broke up with her boyfreind (but before I asked her out), but that didn't work at all and they broke up real quick.
Anyways as I found out just before writing this her old boyfreind, the one that went out with her for 10 months, asked her out again.....But....She says no to him, and said it was over between them. I could only think that, that incident is hurting the time it would take to go out with her. She wanted time before she dated me, and the source of her problem comes along and tries another go.....ya you can picture the problem.
But me and her are really close still, and we go to movies, and hang out. All her friends are friends of mine now, I met them through the year, and we're all pretty close. Her friends tell me she think I'm a really nice guy, and funny. But I'm leaning towards the idea that she got too close to her ex boyfreind, and is scared to get clsoe to anyone like that again........That poses a problem with me of course. I know you guys always say just be her freind, and then your freindship will move into a romantic one......well in this situation that's not working.......I need to know what I should do from here, it's a big mess and I dunno which way to go.
I'm hearing stories left and right like she likes me as a freind, she likes me as more than a freind, and ones in between I'm really confused. I know you'll say well confront her with your questions.....but that won't work....honnestly who admits their problem striahgt out? All I wanna know is how I stand with her.......if it's she kinda lieks me, but wants some time before we dted that's fine with me, but I'd like to know. Either it would be nice to know,but I dunno how to go about all of this....I really like this girl,can you please give me some advice,I'd appreciate it.
Really, read some of the other letters that come in about people on rebound and the bad mistakes they make. This isn't just a small issue, it's a really serious issue. Give her time. She had a breakup, it takes people months and months to get over them. We're not saying you have to wait 3 more years. But waiting another month or two isn't going to hurt any, and it'll make a huge difference in how happy you two are.
You're already on a great path. You've done things with her, you're her friend, you've been there for her. Now just keep being there for her. Don't keep going around asking about her behind her back, that's not really fair. The telephone game rarely works well. Just trust that she is your friend, and that you care for her. When she really gets this other guy out of her system, you'll be there for her. But if you try to pressure her right now, she'll think of you as an unfriendly pressure guy and be likely not to want to date you.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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User Submitted Response from a 13-15 year old Male