Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I might have been too late in writing this since I am going to go home and pack all of my boyfirends stuff. We have been together for 6 months and in those 6 months he has helped me more than anybody that I have ever been with. We're always doing stuff together on the weekends and I see him every night after work. My problem is that whenever I am at work ( or actually not even together) he thinks I'm doing something with my boss or having other guys meet me at lunch. I even talk to him at lunch and he'll still tell me that I have a 1/2 hour unaccounted for. If I don't answer my phone at work, he truely believes that I am in some one's office giving BJ's or calling someone to meet me in the parking lot. I actually think that he has these weird dreams and wakes up believing these things are true. I hardly ever go out, I'm way past the bar scene and love spending time with him when he's not accusing me of these things. This morning he woke up and told me he's had these funny feelings that I'm up to something. He just doesn't get it, that I go to work to work. What is his problem? When I raise my voice he tells me that if I wasn't doing something why do I defend myself so much and there's no talking to me when I get that way. I just don't get it, weekends are great when we're together than at least 3 out of 5 days he's accusing me of things. He'll leave then call later that evening or the next day. I can see if we are hardly together but we are except when we're at work. If I even mention my boss or something that's happening at work he says it's because I have a thing going with him. He keeps telling me that he caught me before but nothing has ever happened. How can a person actually think that all his girlfriend does at work is have sex with all different kinds of people? How do you make some one realize that your not doing these things? I love him and this would actually be the perfect relationship if he stopped thinking I was with all these other guys, the problem is he actually believes it's true, how do you prove something that hasn't happened?
The answer is it is probably too late to change your boyfriend's behavior at his age. Since you have decided to send him packing, I won't say much more than that couple therapy might have helped. But that probably would have been an uphill road.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com