Different goals

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years. More precisely since we were 15 and 16. Now we are at a point in our relationship where were both not sure that either of us can be the person that the other needs us to be. I know that I want to be married and have kids and I beleive that if you love a person enough money and everything else will fall in to place. He does not know if he ever wants kids and thinks that he need to work on his career right now. We are fight more often and seem to come to no good result at the end of the fight. We do still love eachother, but is that enough. Can we justify trying to work this out anymore when it is clear that we want differnt things right now even though in the future we may end up wanting the same thing? Please help!

RomanceClass.com Advice
A followup thought to my original answer is that you two should get counseling.

I am sorry you are in this situation.

I would not advise putting this off, because it will probably just get worse for you as time passes. Your boyfriend has what he wants now and unless you can get him to promise what you want he will not change.

Unfortunately it sounds like you have discussed it and he is not making any promises. Nor could you realistically expect him to promise something possibly several years down the road considering his feelings now.

If you are willing to risk living a life without marriage and children, you could safely stay with this man, otherwise you need to seriously consider finding another relationship.

Best wishes,

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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