Break off engagement?

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
OK heres my questions. ive been engaged to my girl for about 8 months, when i first met her she worked and was so full of life! Now it seems all she is doing is NOTHING, sits at home and watches movies and cleans her moms house.Also she lives 120 miles away from me so thats a strain as well. Ive been tryin to push this a side but i want a woman that can take care of herself and not rely on a man to do things for her. The other thing is that her mother has soooo much control over her its not even funny they dont even know we are engaged yet shes to afaird to tell them. So my question is should i stay or should i just go ive talked to her before about this and it doesnt seem to do any good!!!! just goes right back to the way it was before. Advice
The first thing that needs to happen is for your girlfriend to tell people that she is engaged. She does seem to be under the control of her mother and that is not a good sign for a good marriage. At her age, she probably can't change her behavior without counseling. I am not optimistic about this relationship and the distance problem only makes it worse.

Do not break off the engagement without thinking very hard about whether you will feel worse off without her. It isn't always easy to get someone back after breaking up with them. Especially given the distance and her mother's controlling behavior.

My advice is to consider all the angles and think into the future looking for both good and bad things. Don't act in haste, keep telling her what bothers you and hope she will show signs of changing. Perhaps you are ready for her to move in with you, if so that will remove the distance problem and reduce the mother problem.

All in all, you need to figure this out and hopefully by talking with her since communication is so important to a relationship.

Best wishes,

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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She's a leech
Thinks only of self

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