Jealousy causes trouble

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
My boyfriend and I were going out for almost a year, and then we broke up due to stressful situations elsewhere and needed time and space. During this time, he emailed his ex-gf from three years ago, saying he "missed her olive skin" (she told me this, and I trust her in what she says) She is married, and has a child now, and is very happy. My boyfriend and I got back together shortly after this, and have now been going strong for 9-months. In the beginning I did not want him talking to any of his ex-gfs due to this fact. The other night, he said he hated how I tried to control him, and wanted to talk to his old friends again. He re-added this girl to his MSN messenger, and they talk now. He leaves the history of the conversations on, so if I feel insecure I can read them to make sure nothing is going on, but I still feel weird about it. I don't like him talking to her, because of what happened last time we broke up. I think it will just bring up past feelings about her (even if she's not interested in him) and I'll be left in the dust with him trying to get her back. What should I do? Advice
It sounds to me that your boyfriend has a valid point and doesn't want to be fenced in by your jealousy. You really need to back off being jealous or you are probably going to lose him. A good relationship is all about good communication and good trust.

Read our tips on jealousy at:

Please try to work real hard on your jealousy issues.

Good luck,

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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