Up and down relationship
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I'm been having issues with my boyfriend (ex-boyfriend or not i haven't a clue). He never knows what he wants. Our relationship was going perfect for five months when he for no reason broke up with me. Then after a week he asked me to take him back. He said he had made a mistake. So we dated again for about two months before he did the same thing again. And just like last time wanted me back. We dated again for four months and it happened again. And like everytime else we got back together, sort of. We made a deal tht we wouldn't call it dating but we would only see each other. He told me he was more attractive to him when we weren't dating and when we were dating that he couldn't stand me. It sounded fine to me so we were sort of back together again. Then two days ago he broke up with me again. His reasonings were that he was having too many personal problems and i was too jealous. I admit i am jealous, i hate it but i can't help it. His previous girlfriend and him used to tell each other all the other people they found attractive. I'm not like her though so when he would tell me these things it would make insecure about our relationship and myself. I had told him this on many occasions but he still seemed to do it.I try not to be jealous but i can't help it, i'm was too worried he was going to find someone better than me and leave me. But he gets jealous too, he just doesn't admit to it like i do. I tell him because i need reassurance that he does want to be with me. He does have personal problems too which he needs to work out, but i want to help him and he won't let me. Lately he's been very moody. The slightest little thing will set him off and create a huge argument. It's very stressful. Not to mention when he's mad he says terrible things to me, he apologizes later but they still hurt me. When he's irritable i hate him but i really do love him. Aside from these mood swings he's a really wonderful person and i still want to be with him badly. And he doesn't know what he wants he's admitted that he still loves me but doesn't know if we should date because eventually we will break up, but isn't that true in almost all relationships that eventually someone will get hurt? Especially considering we are still to young to settle down and get married. He also admitted that he wouldn't want to see me with someone else and i don't want him with someone else. I don't know what to do, i'm very confused. He loves me but he won't be with me. I need advice. I'm sorry that was long, it's a complicated relationship, i didn't even go into half of it.
I'm sorry you are in the middle of this mess. Your question was very well thought out and presented. This doesn't make it any easier to answer, though. You both seem to love each other and hate each other from time to time. You are very jealous and he is a little.
My suggestion is to start over and just be friends for a while. Perhaps this will help restart your romance in a positive way. Remember too, that males don't mature emotionally as quickly as females, so you will have to do extra work to make the relationship work. You also need a lot of help with your jealosy. Please read all the tips we have on jealousy at: http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/LoveCat/23682
I hope this helps you some,
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com