Uncommunicative boyfriendVisitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I am a 20 yr old female in a year and 1/2 long relationship. We love eachother but we constantly have communication problems and constant fights about the same topics. I always seem to bring the subject up whenever something reminds me of it and all my boyfriend ends up all irritated and angry and saying, "NOT THIS AGAIN!" and seems to end up with both of us not talking or him saying, "I dont want to deal with this, I'm going home." Then after a period of time everything seems to be forgotten and goes back to our normal silly selves. It usually flares up from a small situation and he thinks im being ridiculious.. but I really think these ridiculious little fights are actually something of a bigger meaning but he doesn't seem to understand that. I keep telling him I always bring it up because it really bothers me and why he just can't discuss it with me and talk it through so we can make our relationship better. He sitll just ignores me and doesn't want to communicate. I tried everything from telling him Communication is key to a relationship to if you want to see what happens if we don't communicate then thats your decision. It so seems that i figured out that he has some problems sharing his Thoughts and Feelings to ANYONE..his family, friends, ME! He can't seem to open up to me enough but yet I have no problem opening up to him. What pisses me off the most is when he GENERALIZES and I tell him to be more specific but he never seems to get the point, even if I ask him a question directly about the subject. I always seem to have to ask him the question directly for him to tell me or else he wouldn't tell me about it at all. This is what we agrue about most and yet he still does not comprehend anything I say of the matter. I have come to the point where I just given up opening up to him and telling him what i feel and think anymore because he has not done the same. I also been having second thoughts about our relationship and think that maybe we weren't meant to be together and we're completely opposite from one another. He's just too careless&laidback and I'm more of a responsible wellbeing. I guess it's more because he is just too simplitic and I'm just too complex.. What should I do?
It sounds llke you have reached the end of your patience with him. Try to explain to him (again) what is bothering you. But before doing so, tell him about your doubts regarding your relationship. That should catch his attention.
If he refuses to communicate, then I agree with your second thoughts and would advise you to seriously reconsider whether he is the guy for you. Unfortunately, many men are unable to communicate. However, for any relationship to flourish, communication is vital.
You have analyzed the problem very well and clearly you are a good communicator, no wonder that you are frustrated with your boyfriend.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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