Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I have a dilemma. Which is why i am seeking your advice. I am a 15 year old girl who broke up with her boyfriend of 11 months a little over a month ago. The problem is, during our relationship i had promised him we would be together forever, but my feeling changed and i realized i wasnt ready to commit. I havent even experienced many other people. So i told him that and it was so hard to get through. A month later he ends up having a girlfriend for a week and then she broke up with him because she "used him" but that same day she broke up with him i went to the movies with my guy friend. He got mad at me for it! he said he still gets jealous when i bring up another guy. He asks about them though. Anyways, he said he was getting mad and he really cant control it because he still loves me. So i asked him if he wanted to not talk to me for a while so he could get over me and he said no because he wants to talk to me still. But i think it will just make him keep having to deal with the same feelings everynight when he talks to me. He said one way for me to make him better is to not be friends with any of my guy friends. I compeletly told him that is something i cannot do and never will do. it is completely out of line for him to ask me to befriend my friends that are guys upon his behalf dont you think? He said it wasnt fair to him for me to break up with him , which it wasnt but i couldnt have done anything else. My major questions are
1. Do you think not talking for a while will help him to forget me and get over me? and if so how do i tell him again so he can listen?
2. how can i get him to accept im gonna be going to hang out with all my other guy friends with out him freaking out?
Enough time has passed for him to begin to recognize that you are no longer boyfriend and girlfriend. It is wrong of him to ask you to stay away from your guy friends.
It's time to stop talking with him to see if that helps. Tell him it is for his own good and then stop taking phone calls or talking with him. There is no good answer for your question about him freaking out-- about the only thing that comes to mind is to call his parents and complain. But that could raise more trouble than it is worth if he tells everyone you called his parents.
Be sure to tell him that you care about him as a friend but that he is not acting like a friend and so you can't talk with him anymore.
All in all, you are in a tough situation and I hope things work out for you.
See our tips on dealing with an ex: http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/LoveCat/3
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com