Loves best friend's boyfriend

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I am 20 years old and I have two very very close friends. My one friend, "A" and I have been best friends since we were little girls. My second friend, "D" and I met about 4 years ago. He's an awesome person an we became friends almost instantly. The three of us are very close. About a year and a half ago I started to have strong feelings towards "D" and I wasn't sure wether I should let them surface considering that my other friends and I would always comment on how there was something more between "A" and "D". I decided not to act on my feelings and I let things be for a very long time the whole time never saying a word about it to Amy who being my best friend I told everything. Almost six months later I didn't think I could hold in my feelings anymore. I needed to tell someone how I felt before I exploded! I began to talk to "D" about it when suddenly the subject changed and he confessed his love for my best friend "A". I though I was just going to die. But to me enough was said. I didn't have a chance, but "A" did. I never said a word to "D" or "A" and for a couple months I worked to set them up, and not myself. Finally they officially became a couple and "A", who is one of the most imporant people in my life, is deeply happy. I eventually told her how I felt. She is very grateful and thinks that I am a selfless person for living a secret and giving up all hope when I learned the truth. But it hurts to watch them be together and to set my own feelings aside. In a way I'm thrilled for the happiness of my best friends, and in another way it kills me to see my best friend with the man I've wanted for almost 2 years now. I'm not sure I did the right thing. "D" has no idea what the truth is and lately it's been very hard to deal with. I'm not getting over him easily. My friend is confident that it will just take time. Frankly I've given it over 6 months and I don't know what my problem is. What do I do? Do I separate myself from them? Do I tell "D" how I feel? Do I give it MORE time? Do you have any advice for me and what i can do to get over him so that i can truely be happy for my best friends new relationship? Advice
I am sorry to see you in this situation, it must be terrible.

First off, I would advise you NOT to tell him that you love him. That would likely make a very uncomfortable situation for all three of you. Nor would I separate from them for the same reason.

Time is the best solution for this problem, and you should look for other male friends to help distract yourself. Whenever you think of him, imagine how happy your two friends are together and how good you have been to be part of their happiness.

Wishing you the best,

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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