Try flowers and candy
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
I recently submited a question, I got great and quick advice, however I don't think I went in depth because it's very confusing.
I've been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years. We recently had a child together, a beutiful baby boy. During the 2 years,I have caught her in many uncalled for lies which did start taking away some trust, but nothing so major I couldn't get past it. At the time she became pregnant, I found out an ex of hers was in town and that he was at her house a few times and she was talking to him alot on the phone. It wouldn't have been a problem if it wasn't lied about and added on to that it was someone she told me she still cared and had feelings about.
When she came to me, it was a shock, her chances of having a child were very small because of a medical condition, but I always told her never say never.I did though, in the back of my mind, worry that something happened between her and her ex,being that I was lied to about him coming over there. I did ask her, as compassionatly, as i could if anything like that happened. She was very angry and hurt, which I don't blame her, but promised me nothing like that happened.
Since she said I hurt her so bad,throughout the pregnancy I have tried to do anything I could for her,financially and emotionally. She would never let me do anything. Now that the baby is here she still wont let me do anything and our relationship is awful. She tells me she doesnt feel comfortable asking me for anything because I doubted the child was mine and she's still hurt by that. I have done anything and everything possible to be there for her and to show her I want to further our relationship but I have been shut out. Now she's telling me she feels like she's done and is doing everything on her own and I'm not ther for her. I feel I've done nothing but be there for her.
Needless to say we are on the brink of being over. It's not what I want but she won't let me in her heart and she won't give me her heart,in her words. What if anything can I do to prove to this girl that I love her and want to be with her.
One thing you could do to prove you love her is ask her to marry you. She will quite likely say no since feelings are so bad on her side. The last time you wrote, I suggested you see a family therapist. Knowing more now I think it is unlikely she would go to one with you, but you could suggest that to her.
Tell her you love her and care for her and the baby every chance you get. Visit her and the baby as often as possible. Do all those things that someone in starting love does... send flowers, take her candy.
These are things you could do if you think there is a chance. You don't seem to think there is a chance so don't get your hopes up too much.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com