Guilt over suicide

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
My mam and dad split up when i was 7, she got with a new guy and he was very hard on me and my 2sisters and brother,he had us doing work on bogs,hard labour that even the strongest of men found difficult!--he made us go to bed at 7 -even when it was summer and all our friends were out playing,im not been weird but we were good kids that did as we were told so i cant understand why he didnt treat us like human beings! Anyway when i was either 13 or 14 (by then he had 2 kids for my mother) i told him i didnt like him and asked him why wont he leave us alone, remember i wasnt like teenagers now-a-day, i was quite and just wanted a little "me time"---2 weeks later he committed suicide and from that day to this i feel its my fault,my mother says it went deeper than a petty argument, but im 20 now and still have nightmares over what i've done, i never hated him but i wont say he was a friendly person but i would never have wished that on anyone, i sometimes think about what ive done and tell myself it should be me.

am i gone mad?
what the hell is wrong with me?

thanks for your time
"A" Advice
One of the terrible things about suicide is that it leaves people behind who blame themselves. Your mother is right, of course, that your petty argument had nothing to do with his act. But that has not healed your pain.

What you need desperately is someone to have long conversations with on this topic. It might be a best friend, your mother, a religious figure, or best of all a mental health counselor. In fact, a mental health counselor is probably necessary to help you get rid of your needless guilt.

You shouldn't be suffering over something that wasn't your fault!

My heart is with you,

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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