Breaking up with baby's father

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
"J" and I had been together for almost a year...when we broke up. We had a rocky relationship, but we jumped into many things. We were living together, when i found out that we were going to have a baby. Something happened and I had to move in with my mom, but we were still together. After some time apart, we both realized that the relationship, no matter how hard we tried, wasn't working out. Now I'm 7 months pregnant, and I'm trying to get over him. Which is my question...How do I work on getting over him when we have to spend time together and talk about our child that is on the way. I have found someone that wants to be with me, but he isn't here w/ me because he is in boot camp for 2 more months. This is extremely difficult for me to handle! Seeing him makes my heart hurt, and all I want is for him to hold me! I want to say I loveyou when we talk! Please help if you can... Advice
You are in a difficult situation and I sympathize with you. As you know, there are no simple answers or you would have thought of one already. It is to the credit of your ex that he wants to talk about the future of the child. Yet this causes you pain when you are with him.

The only idea I have is to cut out the in-person discussions with your ex and replace them with phone conversations. If he asks why, be honest with him. It will be easier to deal with your feelings on the phone. Naturally this will not be forever, just long enough to give you some more space to get him out of your mind. Also, the guy in boot camp may be more in the picture in a few months and that will help you too.

Hope this helps some,

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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