Ex-wife takes advantage
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My husband and I have been married for four years now. He was married before and in that marriage had two children, the ex-wife hates me just as much as i hate her. she calls for every little thing but never at home only at his job or cell phone. he has told her to stop calling him but it doeant seem to work. and every chance she gets she uses me as a built in sitter which is very hard for me because we have two children at home please give me advice on how to handle her and the kids without it causing conflict in our marriage?
Dealing with ex's is rarely easy, and you have a difficult situation. If I were you, I'd be happy that she doesn't call your husband at home. He is trying to get her to stop calling, and short of hanging up there isn't much he can do about it. But, he should keep trying to get her to cut back on the phone calls. When she does call, give him the support he needs rather than complaining about it (if you do).
Keep a calendar with dates and times that the ex uses you as a baby sitter. After a month, look at it and try to make a decision about how often is ok. Then discuss it with your husband and come to an agreement about how often is too much. Keep on with the calendar so you have hard facts when the time comes to discuss it with the ex.
None of this is easy to do, but sometimes little steps can help a lot.
Best of luck,
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com