Jealous, jealous, jealous
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
MY BOYFRIEND AND I WERE IN A RELATIONSHIP FOR TWO YEARS, THEN HE BROKE UP WITH ME COZ HE SAID I WAS TOO JEALOUS(THAT I'M ALWAYS ACCUSING HIM OF SOMETHING THAT IS NOT EVEN TRUE AND THAT HE'S SICK OF ME MAKING HIM LOOK DOWN EVERYTIME WE ARE OUT PLACES.)
THEN AFTER ONE YEAR WE GOT BACK TOGETHER. I WASN'T JEALOUS AT FIRST, BUT I'M AFRAID AS OUR RELATIONSHIP GETS (MORE)SERIOUS, MY JEALOUSY IS COMING BACK LITTLE BY LITTLE. AND I THINK THAT ITS REALLY BAD RIGHT NOW.I WONT LET HIM HANG OUT W/ HIS BUDDIES COZ THEIR GIRLFRIENDS ARE THERE, I WONT EVEN LET HIM WATCH MOST OF THE CHANNELS ON TV, AND WHEN WE GO OUT SOMEWHERE, HE HAS TO LOOK DOWN MOST OF THE TIME.FOR SOME REASON I THINK HIS EYES ARE ALWAYS WONDERING AROUND, LOOKING FOR PRETTY GIRLS, AND IF HE SEES ONE HE WILL LIKE HER BETTER THAN ME.I KNOW ITS WRONG AND I SHOULDNT TREAT HIM LIKE THIS. I TRY TO NOT BE JEALOUS, BUT WHENEVER I SEE PRETTY GIRLS, IT JUST MAKES ME ACT LIKE THIS. HAVE ANY SUGGESIONS?
I don't see anything good coming out of this relationship so long as you stay so jealous. First thing to do is to "allow" him to watch whatever TV channels he wants to. After you see that no harm comes from it, then "let" him go out with his buddies.
By doing these things you will be making yourself a stronger person. Jealousy is a weakness usually caused by low self-esteem which turns into a lack of trust of your partner.
Do you have any friends, church figures, or counselors that you could get more advise from? Getting over jealousy is not easy. Go to the library and see if they have books or articles on the subject (ask the reference librarian). Do something because your happiness depends on it.
See some tips on jealousy at: http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/LoveCat/23682
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com