My Girlfriend Isn't Trusting

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
I'm a male and my girlfriend has been cheated on and hurt alot. And i think she thinks that i'm gong to do the same thing. And she feels so bad about it. Should i end the relationship or work it out? Or should i do something else?Please help. Advice
Trust is the cornerstone of any relationship, and it can definitely be true that someone who has been burned once is very cautious about trusting again. But life is about healing and forgiving, and she's not going to be very happy if she spends the rest of her life mistrusting every single guy because of one jerk in her life.

Sit down with her and talk about it. Tell her you know she's been hurt. That other guy was a jerk. But you are you, and you're there for her, and honest and trusting. She has to take a chance and trust you, because otherwise the relationship is going to really suffer. It can't survive with her not trusting you, and you care for her a lot.

Ask her how you can help. Maybe you can always tell her where you're going and carry a cell phone so she can call you. It sounds sort of silly, but you're trying to show that you're doing your part. Really it's all about her though, and her changing her mindset. She has to stop being a "everyone is out to get me" person and change into a "one person was a jerk, but my current boyfriend IS trustworthy" one. It's all in her brain.

Just about everyone has been betrayed or cheated on at some point in their life. Yes, it's not fun. But it's one of those life lessons that you get up, dust yourself off and move on. So yes, she had a right to be hurt and upset with that other guy. But now she has to take charge of her own life, and move on, and not let it damage her current relationship with you. She deserves more than that, and so do you.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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