We work at the college rec center and I think I love her
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
I am a 19 year old college student and I work at my college's rec center. There is this girl i work with (also 19) for almost a year who i have become friends with. Over time i have realized i really like this girl a lot, I may even love her. I have never met someone i have felt so strongly about in my life, I find myself thinking about her all the time.
We have talked on the phone, we exchange text messages all the time and we have fun hanging out at work (where we have spent all of out time together). We were supposed to hang out several times but something always comes up for her. Example: she asked me to hang out several times this summer when we got out of work (we get out at 8pm). I said yes and when i tried to take her up on it she was always busy or said she couldn't. A mutual friend was in the hospital and she called and asked me twice if i wanted to "go together" to visit. I said yes and 2 days in a row she called and cancelled on me as i was on my way to pick her up. I was not sure if she wanted to just go together or if she was shyly asking me out. Sometimes when she asks to hang out she does it coyly (at least in my opinion) and i cant tell how she means it. She is outgoing but a shy person. I have hinted that i was upset about the fact we never hang out and how she always cancels, she got upset and said it was not like that and she is very busy.
She is flirty i.e. hugs, brushing up against me, standing really close, punches, eye gazes, and sometimes playfully kicking and smacking my butt with a book. I will catch her staring at me a lot, perhaps trying to read me, especially when i am talking to other people. But she is a flirty, friendly girl--although i have to say I have never (nor have our co-workers) seen her do some of the things she does to me to other guys. I gave her little gifts for her birthday and christmas. She was shocked and gave me big hugs, rocking back and forth. At christmas I think she almost kissed me, rubbing the sides of my face and standing close while hugging me. Recently she hurt her back so i brought her lavender (her fav color) roses and she was shocked. She tells me i am the sweetest guy in the world. She takes dating seriously and does not date casually, she likes to get to know someone well before dating and prefers to be friends first.
My problem is I cant be sure if she likes me back in that way. We were talking recently and she jokingly told me i was approaching the "big brother" status. I think she believes i want to be just friends. On several occassions i think (as do my female friends) i gave her the wrong imppression on several occassions. Trouble is i dont know if she likes me back anyway.
I am driving myself crazy and suffering in silence working with this girl. I love her so, so much and I just dont know what to do. If we ever became more, she would be treated like a princess, and would want for nothing. I care for her so much. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thank you so much!!
It sounds like it is time for you to make a move to let her know that your feelings have grown strong for her. Otherwise, you will suffer and she will sense that something is "wrong" with the situation and misunderstand you.
Ask her to hang out with you after work. She might say yes but then cancel out... keep trying. When you talk on the phone, let her know how much it would mean to you to be able to spend some time together outside of work. It is important to be open with someone you care about.
Her responses to you have been very favorable so far, and she may have some of the same feelings you have for her. You have had almost a year together and you are friends so you need to take the next step.
There is a section on this site about how to date a friend. Please take a look at it: http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/LoveCat/4
Best of luck,
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com