Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have been best friends with this guy for the past three years, we talk everyday, and see each other as often as we can (we live in different states). However, we will soon be at the same college and live within walking distance from each other. We have so much in common and have the greatest times together either in person or on the phone.He tells me constantly that he loves me and he needs me in his life and that he doesn't know what he would do without me. Recently I told him that I felt as if we were more than friends because since the day we met we had kissed and "messed around" with each other. He confided in me, after my confession to him about my feelings, that although he could not live without me or go for more than 12 hours without talking to me, that he did not think we would ever date because..."he didn't want to loose our great friendship if we were to break up" or "he is in love with everything about me, but not in love with the fact that i worry too much or that i choose to wear make-up to feel better about myself." I know in my heart that i am in love with this man...but i need advise on what i need to do now---a few days ago we lost our virginity to each other and afterwards he told me he was glad that he lost his virginity to me, but when i asked if we were ever going to have a committed relationship he said "no"....since then he has called me 2 or 3 times each day everyday, told me that he loves me VERY much, and that he can't wait to see me again. I don't know what to do because i love him and i want to make him happy, but i don't really want to have sex with someone that doesn't want to be committed to me (i had always thought i would loose my virginity to my husband). Please give me any advise on what you think i should do. Thank you. Advice
Ask him to explain further what he means by committment. Perhaps it isn't the same thing to you as to him. Other than that question, it sounds like you have a wonderful relationship.

Good luck,

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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