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Love does not consist in gazing at each other - but in looking together in the same direction. - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry



Lost true love



Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
well where do i start. just a little about me i am 26 been through 4 relationships that were some what long started dating when i was 16. and when i say long i meen at least a year or 2. i have a good heart i dont cheat i know what i'm looking for and if i dont find it in someone within a few months i end it.now that you know a little about me i do get hurt easy my heart breakes very easy and all the girlfriends that i have dated for a long time have always broken up with me. i dont like to hurt people. well needless to say i knew before hand it wasn't going to work out but i did still want to try not to fix i am a fixer 2 some reason i always seem to drift towards girls with lots of emotional problems. but i have learned from that and watch out for that now i dont need to be with some one that i think i need to fix. so now i found a healthy relationship i acutally talked to her when we have had problems we would talk about them we enjoy each others company i really think that she is the first girl that i have actually loved and not just thought i did see i think that i know the difference now. just judging from my past. she has had a few problems that are her problems but i thought that she was dealing quite well with them she is 22 a jr. in college and she has the usual worries grades money so forth now i was not supporting her but from time to time if she was short on money i would help her out. she has always paid me back a little at a time after all we are not married. but i never demanded that she do.so sat of this last week she came over to my house after work and we had talked 10 min before and she sounded like something was wrong and i asked she just said nothing. so she shows up right and sits down on my couch and says i think we should break up. this blew my mind so i said ok lets talk and hear what you have to say. this is what i get i'm not happy with myself right now and i haven't been for the last 2 years i have all this stress and i cant be in a relationship until i'm happy with myself. that i am the most wonderful person in the entire world bla bla bla. then she tells me that we should have never started dating because she wasn't ready for a realationship yet. we have been together 15 months and shes not happy now we have been away from each other 5 days total out of the last 15 months and each day seems longer and longer the feelings that i have are stronger than i have ever felt before and yes i have lived with a girlfriend before. so where does this leave me besides alone broken hearted and missing the on that i found she fit in all the right places i was attached to her like a best friend she is my best friend i do have may friends but feel so empty and alone. she has called and is ready to just be friends but no matter how hard i try it tears me up inside and i try really hard not to say the things that i use to say like i love you i miss you because it dosent help. i'm the guy that always has a smile no my face that always tries to find the positive in every situation to learn from things i cant sleep or eat every time i try to eat or drink it just comes up 10-30 min later small sips of water is about it and i have tried to eat i just cant i'm really tore up over this i could care less about the sex or all the other physical stuff see the first time i meet her it was like in the movie big fish time stood still i have never found someont that time stood still for the 15 months that we were together seem like 1 and the few days that we have been apart seem like a year. i know that it gets better with time but how do you deal with loosing the one and i never have said that about anyone. we were happy we did stuff had date night where we went out had a few trips to vegas and lake charles if she wanted to go out with her friends no problem i was very secure with our relationship and so was she. where do i go from here? what do i do see nothing makes sence anymore i would change a thing that i did and i know she wouldn't eather. and if she called me againg right now and asked me to wait 10 years for her i would if she said that she had thought about it and wanted to go back out right now only to not have solved her problems i would just to break up again 6 months or a year from now and feel all this hurt again. she is worth more to me than all the hurt that i feel i would and will deal with everything that is dished out i just want another persons advice about what the think because she is the one and i'm not talking marrage we did talk but never enough to scare anyone and if we never got married i would spend my life with her i dont need a symbol to show that i got her the fact is she is what has made a day brighter and thing more fun. so where am i at where can i go how can i get her to understand because she dosent want to talk about any of it. and i respect that and i dont. please help.
thanks,
C




RomanceClass.com Advice
My feelings are with you as you appear to have lost someone very dear to you and are having trouble dealing with it. Your inability to eat suggests that this situation is more than I can answer here. You should seek out counseling to help you overcome this tragedy in your life. Meanwhile retain her friendship as you never know what might develop again.

Best wishes,
George


-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com





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