His job is keeping him away
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
About three weeks ago my girlfriend broke up with me, Now we had what you can call a very good relationship we were toghether for 2 years and everything was great, the problem was that i got a job for 4 months where i would have to be away for 5 days and then i would get to see her for 2, now this job was really the final step in the right direction for me to really cement me in a good career. Now i would come down and because she was at uni and worked as well i only got to see for a few hours but i would always reassure her that i loved her and this will go quick and i would be back home before she knew it. Anyway whilst being in this new job i became very stressed because i didnt want too stuff up this opurtunity so sometimes she would call and i would say "look not right now i'm really busy(which i was)" or "look i have to go out to this function can we talk later". I relize now thats where i went wrong i started taking her a bit for granted, when she decided to break it off she said "that we will probly get back together, but she cant see it working until i get back" she also said that she needs this time to find herself, be single, have fun with her friends and see if i'm the one for her, she also said that she hasnt been single for nearly 5 years and she just wants to do whatever she wants without having to worry about having a boyfriend( she came out of a two year relationship as i did and within a month we were together").
she also said that she cant remember the last time we had fun together but it was hard because i was away for(at the time)6 weeks.
2 weeks after we broke up she kissed someone else and it killed me but she did say to me that she's not looking to kiss other people but if it happens it happens, she also said that i should kiss other people to too see if it hurts her?????we talk over the phone still and when i come home we still see each other but she is not showing any affection towards me which makes me feel really bad also she sais that we cant kiss and stuff because it only confuses her also she has stopped saying i love you and stopped calling me by all my pet names. She did say that she still wants to come and stay with me for a week when she has uni holidays. I cant live without her i dont know what to do i dont know whether to just fully leave her alone or ring her i dont want her to grow away from me, i still have 8 weeks left at my job and then i'm home should i keep contact as freinds and then make my move (slowly) when i get back? she also said that if she relizes she wants me back before i come home she would tell me. One more thing she doesnt talk to anyone but one of her friends about it and although me and this friend got on fine she's also single and would be telling my ex to stay with her kinda, i know it. i really love this girl i dont want to be with other people i was planning to ask her to marry me at christmas! i just want her back soo bad can you please tell me how to do this?? Thankyou hopefull (she is 20 and i am 21 i know i am young but i'm very mature as she is for our ages)
You have analyzed the situation very well and seem to have a realistic understanding about what is going on. I would suggest that you go with your feeling about keeping your relationship on a friendship basis until you return. This will show her that you respect her feelings and care enough about her to go along with them. Make sure that she knows that you still care for her but that you will wait until the job pressures subside before you (slowly) try to return to what you had.
I am optimistic that this will work out for you.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com