I Want to Keep my Friendship
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
I have been friends with this girl for 2 years now and we talk to each other in school all the time. Although we are not best friends we get along really well.
The problem is we never see each other outside of school and I would really like to. I'm only looking for friendship at the moment.
Also, we have both just finished school, and might not see each other again. I have her phone number, but I got it from a mutual friend. I have been tempted to use it, but have not as it might seem a bit creepy and put her off.
I have strong feelings for her and would regret it for the rest of my life if I did not keep our friendship.
It's really great that you want to maintain and build your friendship with this girl and also that you are being cautious about looking like a "stalker". These all are really good signs that the relationship you build with her will be a strong one that lasts.
It can be tough to make that "transition" from an only-in-school friend to a school-and-leisure friend. You don't want to scare her off, but you don't want to lose the friendship either.
I would keep an eye on movie and book release listings and wait until you see something that really seems like something she'd enjoy. Then take the plunge and call her. Tell her it's you, and say something "I hope you don't mind, xxxxx gave me your number because I wanted to get in touch with you." I'm sure she'll say that's fine. Then tell her about this cool movie or book you saw and that it reminded you of her, and you wanted to make sure she knew about it. That way you're just being friendly and letting her know about something cool. She'll probably say thanks and ask how you're doing and so on. Once you break that ice, it'll be easy, but you need to build up the courage to make the call. It's always a hard thing - but remember, the most important things in life usually involve a big challenge. Sit down, take a deep breath, and do it!
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com