Are We Dating or Just Talking?
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I HAVE A QUESTION WETHER I AM DATING OR TALKING TO THIS GUY I THINK WE ARE DATING AND HE SAYS WE ARE TALKING. BUT ON JULY 10 WE WENT TO THE MOVIES AND WE WERE TOGETHER EVERYDAY FROM JULY 10TH UNTIL JULY 18 WE KISSED AND HELD HAMDS. WE TALKED EVERYDAY WHILE HE WAS GONE TO THE BEACH FROM JULY 19 TO JULY 23 WHEN HE CAME HOME HE CAME TO VISIT ME AT WORK AND STAYED THERE ABOUT AN HOUR WE WENT OUT ON SATURDAY AND SUNDAY HE CAME TO MY WORK ON MONDAY TO VISIT AND I WENT TO WATCH HIM PLAY SPORTS ON TUESDAY & WEDNESDAY
IN THE MEANTIME HE ALSO HAS A EX GIRLFRIEND WHO DRIVES BY MY WORKPLACE EVERY 25 MINUTES AND FOLLOWS EVERY WHERE HE GOES AND CALLS HIM ALL THE TIME MAKING OUT THAT SHE IS PREGNANT SHE HAS PULLED THIS TRICK ON EVERY GUY SHE HAS WENT OFF AND EVEN TOLD HIS FRIEND WHE DID HE WARN HIM THAT SHE WAS GOING TO PULL THIS TRICK.
SHE TRIED TO CAUSE A FIGHT WITH HIM AND SOME GUY ON WEDNESDAY AND THATS WHEN HE TOLD ME HE JUST DIDN'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW THAT WE ARE JUST TALKING BUT HE WANTS EVERYTHING TO STAY THE SAME AS WE ARE HE SAID HE DID NOT WANT TO DATE ANYONE ELSE. ON THURSDAY I HAD TO WORK HE CAME BY ABOUT 20 MINUTES BEFORE I GOT OFF AND STAYED THERE FOR ABOUT 15 MINUTES HE WALKED AROUND WITH ME WERE I WORKED AND PUT HIS ARM ON MY SHOULDER AND WE WENT TO THE MOVIES ON FRIDAY THE GUY THAT I WORK WITH SAYS HE CAN CALL IT ALL HE WANTS THAT YA'LL ARE JUST TALKING BUT YA'LL ARE DATING WHAT IS YOUR ADVICE ARE WE TALKING OR DATING. WE SEE EACH OTHER EVERY DAY THAT WE ARE HOME.
Words are only words. They are meaningless. What matters is how you feel about him and how he feels about you, and what you both agree that means. Does it matter if you are "dating" or "talking"? You two are spending time together and having fun. The ONLY thing that matters is that you both agree that this is monogamous or not-monogamous. If one of you thinks whatever your relationship is is "us only" and the other person starts dating other people, it will cause stress.
So he says he won't see anyone else. I imagine you aren't seeing anyone else. So that's that. You are enjoying your time together, being monogamous. He has stressful other things going on in his life. So call it being "dyadian" - i.e. a pair - and leave it at that. To obsess over what words are used is putting too much time and energy into something that doesn't matter.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com