She Wants to Be a Princess

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I had a heated discussion with my girlfriend the other day, and subsequently our relationship seems to now be off the rails. The discussion was over the way that I treat her; I thought I was a romantic guy, chivalrous, but do believe in equal rights and equal opportunities. I plan romantic outings, give her flowers, open doors, Iím trustworthy and believe that women are entitled to every opportunity that a man is.

Where the problem lies is that she says I don't ďtreat her like a princessĒ; in that I don't buy her expensive jewelry, take her on vacations to luxurious resorts, or out to the expensive restaurants. I do buy her things, take her on trips, and out to restaurants. Iím not poor, not rich, but comfortable; Iím frugal with my money but not cheap and donít spend beyond my lifestyle. I feel that treating a girl like a princess means that she should treat me like a prince or better yet a king; meaning itís a two way street. If I take her somewhere expensive, then she can take me somewhere expensive. My big problem is that she feels that she shouldnít have to do anything more to deserve this. To me the ďtreat me like a princessĒ scenario is disgusting! As weíve learned from history, a princess is nothing more than a figurehead. Raised with class and etiquette, she serves as an ambassador to the monarch. Not to mention, a Princessís Prince always has a few mistresses; case and point Prince Charles and Princess Diana.

She wants more without giving any more. When I give advice to my friends, I compare their relationship to a Bank; let the withdrawals equal the amount of the deposits. Itís a two way street! Am I out of line? Should I cut my losses and move on?!?!? I love her, but I donít feel appreciated. What do you think? Advice
Good God I think any woman who believes there aren't really sweet guys out there should just read this. You are being *amazingly* good to her. Love isn't about expensive jewelry!! Nor is it about resort vacations!! Most women don't get ANYTHING like that stuff and are quite happily in love. Many women would be quite thrilled with some flowers once a month, never mind anything else.

It definitely sounds like you've got one spoiled woman on your hands, who thinks somehow that love = money. I have to tell you, I know several wealthy people and usually they are quite miserable in love-matters because of this bizarre hangup. And in comparison I know many, many very happy poor people because they truly love each other and appreciate the small things in life.

You're never going to change her. And she's probably never going to be happy, because she's always going to think love is about more presents and greedy people always want more than they have. I would tell your princess that it's 2003 and the era of stomping on peasants is long over. And then I'd take a look around you, because undoubtedly there will be hundreds of women who would be amazingly thrilled if you even treated them half as well as you treated this person.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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