Long Distance Love Affair
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I am a 15 year old girl from a rural area, and I have been lucky enough to meet my soul mate at a young age. He is the greatest thing that ever happened to me. We met through some friends and have been dating almost 6 months, but it feels like years. When I first heard about him I wasn't sure if I wanted to get involved because he was 18, and I am 15, it about a 2 1/2 year difference, and he was leaving the rural area for basic training, but I did, and I'm glad.
Dom is done basic training now, it was 2 months and it was so hard. Especially since I have to go to school everyday. He came home for Christmas and after some problems we got over everything was OK. However he left again last sauterday, and Im in school again...
I know its a lot of blather, and your probably wondering the point, well he's gone again for awhile until he can get a posting nearby (Which MIGHT not happen) and even if he did get a posting it would only be till June, and then he would have to leave for his training again for 6! months!
I dont know how much I can handle. I love Dom so much! He makes my sad existance worth something, and I just wish away my life until I can be with him. I have wished away two months, and Im worried that Im letting down my family and friends by only thinking about him! I guess its not so much a question but me expressing my worries about wishing away life, and wanting summer to come like every student, but not really because he'll be gone in summer.
I would ask you if I should let love go and focus on my own life but Im not capable of that,
Im not sure what to ask. Im just hoping you have some advice for me that would help me make my life better, keeo love going, and allow me to be strong.
First, I'm happy for you in that you found a great match :) Being happy in life with a great partner really makes everything else much easier to take.
Yes, you have a long distance relationship. Tons and tons of people have those. Many aren't lucky enough to see each other as often as you two do. So if it makes you happy, it definitely can work. The trick is to take care of YOU and to take care of the RELATIONSHIP.
The relationship part involves making sure you guys stay in touch. So send real letters, send email messages, keep each other's picture. Have a special song you both love that you play to think of each other. Call each other when you can, and see each other when you can. But the love you have and the knowledge that the other cares for you can be plenty. Lots of navy men are married and are away for months at a time. They still love their wives and are happy when they can be together.
I'm sort of concerned that you're wishing away the rest of your time though. A relationship is NOT about being useless when you're not with your partner. You're both supposed to be strong individuals who are even *better* when you're together! If you just sit around and daydream when he's away, what will you have to offer him when he comes back? He wants an alive, happy, interesting girl. He doesn't want a rag doll that hasn't even realized the world was doing things.
So take care of yourself too, so you can be a great partner for him. Learn tons of intersting things in school so you can talk to him about them. Take up a fun hobby so you can share it with him. Go out and see movies with your friends, read books, do things. The more things you do and experiences you have, the more round a person you become - and the more interesting a partner you are. Find out what his hobbies were. Did he learn spanish in high school? Learn spanish yourself and write him fun letters in spanish. Does he love soccer? Do research on the background of soccer and write him all the great stuff you learned. That involves you both in each other worlds, and keeps you active and having fun!
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com