Relationship goes awry
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I was dating Byron for about 6 months. We met thru some mutual friends. Things were great at first. He was looking for a relationship and so was I. We had so much fun together. He is a Gemini (May 23) and I an Aquarius (Jan 20), so he is very into trying new things. I understand that as I am the same. We would go and try to do things that were fun for both of us. We would go to museums, aquariums and so on. We had so much fun together. We spent my birthday together, his birthday, Valentines day, July 4th, St Patricks day. But one thing about Byron is this .... he is commitment-phobic. He loves his alone time and his best friend always comes first. I respected that and always made sure never to make too many demands on him regarding his free time. I enjoyed EVERY minute that I had with him and I cherished it like it was the last every single time. I was never very secure that he would stick around. Turns out, I was right. One day, he told me that he had to work overtime at his job (he works nights) and so I had planned to leave him a little "love letter" to find when he returned home. When I got to his house later that evening, he was home! He had lied about having to work. He had also told me that the following day, which happened to be a Saturday, he was going camping with his brother (another VERY important person to him) and I made no arguments. I asked him why he had lied about having to work and he said that when he originally told me about his change in schedule the day before, that I had an attitude and said "So I won't get to see you all weekend then, huh?" It's true, I did say that but I was just wanting to spend time with him. Is that so wrong? Anyway, he said that he needed time to think over the weekend and if he felt like calling me, he would. Well, guess what? He never called till Monday night, right before he had to leave to go to work. He said that he felt that we were too different and that I cared for him way more than he cared for me. He went on to say that he didn't want to be with me anymore. He had just told me the previous weekend (July 4th) that he didn't plan on going anywhere for a long time. I asked him if there was someone else and he said no, although, I got really bad vibes from a mutual friend of ours that something was going on between them. So anyway, I wrote him a very long letter (7 pages) explaining how much he mattered to me and that since he was gone, I felt that a piece of me was missing. I told him how much I missed his attention, affection, his kisses, and so on. (how stupid, right?) But I had to get those feelings out. I have had no response from him and it has been a week now. I miss him so much that I hurt inside. I am in love with him (I have never been in love before and I am 28, he is 26). I don't know how to function without him and I can't help but feel that his reason in changing his attitude towards me has something to do with the other girl. I hate this feeling. I am jealous but more than that, I could forgive him if he asked me to. I love him so much. Can I get him back? Is it possible? What did I do that was wrong, and if so, can I correct the past to have a future?
There is no good answer except to accept his decision. You can contact him every so often and ask how he is doing. If he wants to come back he will. But, it doesn't sound promising.
See our tips on breaking up: http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/LoveCat/54875
Sorry this happened to you,
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com