What is his problem?Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I am a 40 year old single woman who has been seeing this guy now for over a year.My problem is that he acts like he is ashamed to be seen with me.He never takes me anywhere or wants to do anything except sit home and drink and watch tv.I know that I am a heavy person and I'm trying to lose weight and make myself feel better,but,it seems like he doens't care.He even acts like he doesn't want to have sex with me.It seems to me the only time he wants to be with me is when he is by himself and drunk!He sometimes ignores me when I run into him at the store or something.We have had problems in the past,but,I thought that we were all past that.My mother died a little over a month ago.I took care of her for several years and was the one who found her(She died of a heart attack!!).My guy was very upset when I lost my mother and we seemed to be getting closer.Sometimes,I think that he feels sorry for me and that's the main reason,he's in this relationship.I don't want him to pity me.I want him to love me!!!!!When I tell him that I love him,he doesn't say anything.Shorty after my mother's funeral,I received a sympathy card in the mail.It was not signed,but,I think he sent it.When I asked him about it,he didn't say anything(he didn't confirm or deny it).I think that he is afraid to admit his feelings to me.He has pictures of his family and friends in his house,but,not of me.I gave him a picture of myself a few months ago and he never has displayed it.I don't understand his behavior.Sometimes,I think,he really cares and other times,he is very distant.He gushes over his buddies,but,acts like I'm nothing! I'm deeply hurt over this.I do love him very much and its tearing me up inside to think my man thinks I'm big and ugly and don't deserve his love! He whistles at young girls and has never said anything on how I look. I'm not a super-model,but,I don't look like a troll either!! I need to feel like I'm special and beautiful too. Please help! Thanks!!
The only way to get an answer is to have a close long and good conversation with him about what is going on. It may turn out that he enjoys hanging out at your place, eating your food, and having sex. A lot of guys are like that and a lot of women put up with it. If you want a change, you have to tell him how you feel in no uncertain terms. Not by yelling or being harsh, but by reminding him sweetly about what you are doing for him and you expect something back.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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