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We don't love qualities, we love persons; sometimes by reason of their defects as well as of their qualities. --Jacques Maritain



How Can I Trust Her?



Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
my girlfriend and i have been together not a real long time. i thought we had a good relationship and felt that we really cared for each other. we see each other about everyother day, and have sex quite often.

Recently however i was told that she cheated on me with two different guys. this isnt the first time i've heard this however. both times though the people telling me this are other girls that could possibly like me and want us to break up for their own benefit... she says she didnt cheat on me but im still worried... one incident of the cheating supposedly happened at a party when she was with her friends... this party was a wild party however and people were all over each other...

i know i should trust her but how???? she's been loose with herself in the past at parties when she gets drunk, all her friends are sluts, and she's afraid to tell me how she feels for some strange reason???




RomanceClass.com Advice
Normally I am the one who argues for trust and honesty and understanding. I would normally say that part of a relationship is trusting the other person and believing in them. But it really does seem like the situations here are straining credibility.

If she's going out to parties without you and getting drunk that is just NOT good. In a way it's a form of cheating. Her responsibility as your girlfriend is to keep herself true to you. This means she should NOT be putting herself into situations where it's easy to cheat. It's like if you were an honorable, married man. You shouldn't be going to strip clubs every night and getting really drunk and doing lapdances and who knows what else with the strippers.

If she's your true girlfriend, she shouldn't be out at drunken orgies. She shouldn't be causing wild rumors to circulate about her and you. For her to put you in this position to have to defend her all the time is completely unfair.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com





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