How do I break-up with her and make her & her kids move out?

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I just moved 200 miles from my girlfriend for a new job. I told her it would be to hard to carry a relationship from that far away and we should consider breaking-up. Instead she chose to quit her job and pack her and her kids up and move in with me. She really put me on the stop, so I let her move in. Now I am really unhappy. She is not working and when I walk in the door all she wants to do is hug and touch. All I want to do is relax and not be bothered. It is driving me crazy. I tried talking to her about it but it either doesn't sink in or she doesn't care.

I am having a hard time with this one morally.

How do I break-up with her and make her & her kids move out? Advice
Wow. Talk about an unexpected result! So she dropped everything to be with you. Just what you didn't want.

Ok, so now she's out there, but there's no moral reason to keep living together. In fact, it's more immoral to stay in a relationship when you want out. It was her choice to move out to be with you, and it can be her choice to move back to where she came from. That she would do so drastic a thing, moving out there, with two kids sort of astounds me, but people do some weird things.

So, does she have the ability to carry rent on her own? I guess anyone does, it's just a matter of where you want to live. So tell her that you've decided it really isn't working out between you two and you think it best for her to find somewhere new to live. Then hand her the paper and a pen and the phone.

You should not feel obligated to her in any way. You are your own person and once you decide that the relationship is not working, then it is nearly an obligation to make it clear to her and move on with your life and let her move on with her own. That's the way life goes. If she has hysterics about it, she needs to learn to deal with it. But it does not mean that you need to house her there.

I wish you the best.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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