I was there for him and we became very close friends
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
ok, so..recently a good friend of mine had broken up with a girl he was seeing/living with for about 1 year. When he broke up with her, I was there for him and we became very close friends. Over a period of about..2 weeks I started develuping feelings for him. I didnt wanna say anything because I didnt wanna bring more confusion into the situation. A few days passed and he kissed me.. Over the next couple of weeks we became very close..more then friends close..but every now and then he would talk about his ex. tell me how he was hurt or angry....and this was all while we were fooling around...My feelings got very strong for him so I decided to let him know how I felt. I told him that I was worried that I may be the only one feeling this way and I didnt wanna get my self hurt because I really did care about him..and I wasnt sure if he was ready for anything. He got mad at me because he said that it was hurtful that I didnt believe him when he said he cared..But..how could I really when he always talks about his ex?anyways..after the conversation..he started to act very distant..he didnt call me.when we did talk..he wouldnt be himself..It was ackward.. I am now soo confused and soo hurt becausse I am not the type of girl who puts myself out there..and I dont usually let myself fall for guys ..for with him..it felt different...It felt soo good..and I really thought he liked me..and actually felt something for me..but his actions didnt show what he said..ya know..he would tell me things like..Ive never cared for someone like I care for you..or..I feel so comfortable with you..Or ..I cant beleive how right this feels...so...I was getting mixed signals. After about 2 weeks..I told him I didnt wanna be his friend anymore cause it was to hard ..seeing as I already fell head over heals for this boy..We got into an argument..and..its been 2 weeks and we havent talked..at all...I want to call him..but I dont know if I should...Did I get played or what? I dont know what to do? Did he ever really like me..? Or was I just conveinient for him to have around? Please give me ur imput...Thanks!!
A person can love many people at the same time. You love both your parents, it's not like one-or-the-other. So why are you surprised that he still has feelings for his ex while he has feelings for you? He was hurt by the breakup and needs time to get over it, but he can still be starting a relationship with you at the same time and feeling strongly for you.
It sounds like he's really hurt because you didn't think he cared. So it sounds like you should call him and talk with him and tell him again that you care deeply for him and want to know that he feels the same. Tell him that you were scared that he didn't like you as much, tell him that you realize now that he can like you and still be getting over his ex at the same time.
You have a really good friendship. Don't toss it away over a misunderstanding. You'll be closer than you were before if you can patch this up.
I wish you the best,
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com