my dad says i shouldn't date him
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
This guy i am dating is absolutely AMAZING. he always looks into my eyes when he talks to me, and tells me i have beautiful eyes and that I'm gorgeous. He always pays attention to what i'm saying and is always interested in the little things about me. He always tries to tickle me because he says he loves my laugh. He wrote me a "note" that said i was a blessing in his life and that i'm 'authentic' and there's no one like me... he wanted to meet my parents so they could get to know him before we started really hanging out.we both have very strong religious beliefs (that actually agree with eachother) and he is one of the greatest people i've ever met... But, a "big" problem is is that he's a sophomore in college and i'm a senior in high school... he's only 1 1/2 years older than me, so i don't see why that's such a big deal... but my dad says i shouldn't date him because we are both in different places in our lives and that it would just be "wrong"... so what do you think? I don't think we're in such 'different places' especially since i am almost in college. Do you think 1 1/2 years really matters that much? (im 17 and he's turning 19 in a little less than a month)
I can understand your dad's position. He's afraid that your guy will be looking for different things in a partner than you can give. Your guy will want to settle down before you do. You'll graduate and have the whole world open at your feet, and your dad doesn't want you tied down to someone who may hold you back from achieving your dreams.
That said, I completely get your position as well. Your guy sounds incredible. And a year and a half makes absolutely no difference when you get in your 30s. But now, you're working on your high school stuff and he's in college. There is a difference there that may cause some friction. But that doesn't mean that you can't overcome it.
I think that if you remain calm around your dad and show him that you're capable of handling the relationship, he may come to warm up about it. Find out what his concerns are, listen to them, and let him know that you will keep his fears in mind as you date your guy. If he absolutely forbids it, then you'll have to wait that extra year until you graduate then you can do whatever you want.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com