Will he ever come back?Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Will he ever come back?
My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me almost a month ago. Our relationship was great until the last 4 months of it. He comes from a screwed up family and he had never had a relationship before me, he treated me like a princess and he said that my parents were the family he never had. When he first came here he wasn't a good communicator, he had no ambition to go to college because he had already flunked out before he met me but he soon became a better person and he went back to school and was almost a 4.0 student. We were together all the time, I had a ring and a promise of marriage after school...then he started to drift away he would go over to his friends and work on cars and if he did spend time with me he would come barging in real late eat, take a shower, and go to bed. So, I did my share of complaining and nagging which at the time I didn't mean to do it I just felt like I wasn't important anymore. For my birthday he didn't even get me a card and he told me that he is number 1 now and I just need to get used to that. So, I continued to argue with him and he warned me that if I didn't stop he would break up with me and there would never be a going back. Well, I guess I didn't listen because I was stupid to think he never would but after an fight he said I'm done and hung up on me. I called and called he avoided me, our friend talked with him and so did my mom because they were close but he told them both he was done he tried and it's over and there is no going back ever he doesn't want a relationship with anyone. He did call me and wanted to be friends so I tried it when I went to meet him I had all intentions of friends but when I got there he had a hicky on his neck and it made me hurt all over again and I brought up the relationship and he left. He talked to our friend and told her it wasn't a hicky his guy friends were horsing around and pinched him. When my friend went to talk to him he had another girl there but he introduced her as a friend. He told my friend that he doesn't even want to be friends with me now and he hasn't called me and I haven't called him in a week now. He also told another one of my friends he had been planning on doing this for a while now he just was waiting for the right time and he told someone else that he pretended to be this great guy in our relationship to learn from my family and I how to be a better person and succeed in life and now that he is he knows what he wants out of life but through that process he did love me and he always will. I have been sick and not taking care of myself my friend told him and he didn't care. I know I messed up and I want to change and try again but he said no it's to late. What can I do to get him back? I love him and miss him he is my soulmate. Can you help me?...Thanks
You messed up? You messed UP!?! The jerk didn't get you a birthday card. He treated you with disrespect and hung out with his friends instead of you. He didn't care enough about you to make you feel important to him.
You are better off without him.
Repeat it to yourself: You are better off without him.
He wasn't even pretending to be a good guy. Or if he was trying to pretend that, he was doing a pretty poor job of it because if you two are fighting then his behavior's pretty bad.
Repeat to yourself: You are better off without him.
You deserve someone who cares about you and your feelings. Who is willing to put aside his own concerns to care about yours. Who will be there for you and will not go out with friends for all hours of the night. Who will love you for who you are and won't be using you the way this guy did.
You need time to grieve and get over this relationship. But you need to see that it's over, and that it's a good thing it's over. You can now move on to a relationship where you will be valued, and not treated so callously like this guy did. You are better than that. You deserve better than he gave you.
You are better off without him.
I wish you the best.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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