It just seems like we both want to be together but we're scared or something

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Well I dated my ex for almost 3 years. We have been apart for a little over a year now. We were together about 2 and a half years when she went to college and thats when it kinda went down hill. We were both very insecure about each other and would often get into fights. We had unbelievable moments together that I have dreams about. Well we finally got into a huge fight when i visited her and broke up. It killed me to know that we broke up and she was an hour away. I tried to get back together with her but she was just to far away. Her best friend at the time was a lezbian, so she says that she fell into that. She dated a girl for 6 months. We were on terrible terms. She has come back for the summer, there not together any more. I've dated a ton of chicks and just dont really care for any of them. When we chill now cuz were getting a long its like were back together again almost. I dont care that any of this has happened and gave you pretty small details of what really happened, I just love her so much. I still love her and want to marry her and even though its been over a year I still have the same feelings, and I think she does to. The problem is, she is going back for her junior year and she doesnt think that she can trust me without being insecure. I have a really outgoing personality but have calm down a lot with flirting and shit. I really want to be with her except i dont know how to go about it and show her how sincere I really am. We chill and kiss and talk about how it used to be a lot. It just seems like we both want to be together but were scared or something. She will tell me how much she loves me and that she thinks she wants to marry me, but than she acts like she doesnt know me for the next week. Its like back and forth with her every other week. I'm just confused and dont know what to do. Help Advice
Well, I guess if things are going along as they are, slightly bumpy but still going, then you can continue like this and eventually you probably will end up married. I think it's a maturity thing that will be worked out over time. The two of you are together and while it's not the romantic happily-ever-after movie ending, you still have mutual feelings about each other. This is a good thing.

Give it time. There's no easy way to get better in a relationship, it's just a sort of bumble along and it'll sort itself out.

Good luck!

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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