i have a problem with jealousy
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
i have a problem with jealously... I have a problem with the girls that boyfreind hangs out with. I don't think that my boyfriend is going to cheat on me but I am jealous of the fact that I don't think my boyfreind thinks I'm as cool as his freinds anymore. I know it sounds stupid but I can't get over it. I guess I'm either jealous of the attention he gives them of just jealous of the girls in general. I know it means I'm insecure with myself. My boyfriend has reasured me plenty of times that I'm being silly and that I have nothing to worry about but I can't get over it. All these friends of his are really into music and I am too but it's not my life. He sometimes hang on every word they say because they have the same intrest in music and instead of my listening to what these girls have to say and learning about the things my boyfreind is interested in, I get all bent out of shape. I guess i'm really afraid that he will one day realize I don't know enough about what he's into and then loose interest in me. How can I overcome these issues inside?
You are so right on the mark about your jealousy and what it means. So now it's just a matter of finding out how to recover from it.
Every time you worry that those other girls will get your guy, remind yourself that he's with YOU. He's committed to being with you and no matter how fun/exciting/incredible they are, he thinks you're better than all of them. And since that's how he sees you, then that's most likely how you really are, no matter what you may think of yourself. So improve how you think of yourself, and you'll gain more confidence when it comes to how you compare yourself with those other girls. Yeah, they may know a lot about music, but you have a wealth of knowledge that they know nothing about and that your guy likes you for knowing. He's with you, not them, and there's a reason for that. So enjoy it.
We have a workbook on how to get over jealousy, if you're interested, check it out here:
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com