she claims shes tired or some lame excuse like that

Visitor's Question from a 41-50 year old Male
my wife works nights 3 nights a week we dont have sex for weeks at at time, she claims shes tired or some lame excuse like that and just the other day i went to rub her in her crotch area and she said no stop im sensitive down there why would she say that? Advice
It sounds to me like your lovelife needs to be changed up a bit. You are both in ruts that are hard to get out of, but if your relationship is going to be satisfying to both of you, then things need to change.

What I recommend has nothing to do with your sexlife. But it will have a strong impact on it anyhow. Go back to when you first met, that incredible sparkly in-love feeling. You need to recapture that emotion and suddenly your world will be a lot better. So much of sex is mental, it's surprising.

Pamper your wife. Get her flowers. Show her in every way that you love her and admire her and want her to be happy. Frequently, sex problems are not about sex at all, but are about feeling unhappy about the relationship as a whole. So find what is wrong and see what you can do to solve it. Talk with her. Set aside time to cuddle on the couch and ask her how her day was, pay attention to her and ask what her dreams and hopes are. Find out what she wishes she could do if only she had the time/money to do it. And see if there's any way you can fulfill that. Share with her all the things you want to do before you die. Share with her how important she is to you. Get connected to her again.

If you do all this, then she will feel more loving toward you and will likely be more romantic in bed as well.

Good luck!


-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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