i truly in my heart believe she would never do it again
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
my girlfriend of 4 years fooled around on me about a year ago and shes now ready to leave me because ive been cold and untrusting.i truly in my heart believe she would never do it again but i find my self in constant fear of it and im pushing her away.please try and give me a way to show her that i truly do trust her so i can save my family and LIFE> I CANT LIVE WITHOUT MY FAMILY PLEASE HELP IM LOSING IT>
When one partner cheats, it throws the entire relationship on its ear. This is a major blow to the trust involved and rightly makes you suspicious of everything she does or says. She needs to be the one to prove that you can trust her again. She doesn't really have a right to complain that you're untrusting. However, this isn't helping your situation any since she's about to leave you.
Forgiving a mistake like this requires a lot of faith in the relationship. You need to find a way to open up to her again and give her the love that you feel for her. Believe that things will be better in the future. When you feel like closing off, remind yourself that you are working at soidifying the relationship to be stronger than before. By forgiving her, you are believing that she is worthy of your trust again. And when you get suspicious of her, remind yourself that you are trusting her, and open yourself to possibly being hurt, but definitely regaining your relationship.
Sit down with her and ask her help in getting you over this. Tell her that when she feels you're being cold, for her to say so and then you should make an effort to be more open and loving toward her. In return, she needs to be trustworthy, which requires her to open her life to you in ways she hadn't before.
I wish you the best.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com