he forgives me but I know it's pushing us apart. I just can't help it.
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I've read the questions on jealousy and alcohol abuse, I'm just not sure what I want out of my relationship. We've reached the stage where I'm secure and he's committed, but I notice I'm trying to start little fights, acting controlling and I guess manipulative. I'll start a fight but as soon as he starts to see it's pointless I'm back to my nice self and he forgives me but I know it's pushing us apart. I just can't help it.
Am I just getting bored of the relationship? He works long hours and I miss the attention. He goes out with workmates for drinks and that irritates me but I know i make a mountain out of a mole-hill.
I come from a family with higher standards than his, and all my friends and family tell me to look elsewhere. Sometimes now I feel myself listening to what they say. And he worries so much about what they think, i know he'd be hurt if i told him the truth and during a few arguments I've slip some things just to win but I'm tired of it.
What should I do? Am I bored? Should i move onto greener pastures? My father was alcoholic, and cheated so my mother left. Am I excusing my behaviour? Am I just afraid of commitment?
It sounds to me like you know what the problem is and some ways to solve it. I would guess that the relationship is feeling very blah to you right now, and you're spicing it up, getting emotion out of it, in negative ways since it's an easy thing to do. You need to learn how to jumpstart the good emotions so that it's delightful to you again. If you break up with him, you'll just run into the same problems with the next guy you see.
Set up activities to do with him that you used to enjoy. Find romantic getaways so you can rekindle the love you have for each other. Look at him with fresh eyes and you'll be able to get back in the groove.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com